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24 July 2009 @ 12:27 pm
Don't be afraid to fail. Just don't do it in front of other people.  

When one sees someone that they wish to appear cool in front of - they should immediately stop. Stop, I say! Then do NOTHING out of the ordinary. Do not take alternate routes. Do not attempt to open a rather larger door with your arms full. (Not when attempting to be cool, any other time it's quote all right). Make sure you are not wearing a purse that crosses over your chest. When opening said door with your backside and wearing said purse (which you shouldn't be opening) make especially sure not to catch the length of your purse in that obscenely large door handle. Once this doesn't happen, attempt to calmly unhook yourself from the door handle, all while keeping the mail packages and letters safe in your arms. Smile and laugh nervously to yourself in disbelief at the horrible occurrence.

Thus again I say...when you see someone you want to impress...don't attempt to impress them.  "How will I ever meet anyone or fall in love if I follow the same route and don't do anything different?" They will cross your route one day, when you are doing what you're supposed to be doing.

Moral of the story? Attempt to be impressive and important and you shall be humbled and humiliated.